Posted by: C J | June 8, 2016

Every time you plant a seed you…

 deny a weed!

Acorn's best expression!

Acorn’s best expression!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve been planting my favorite vegetable seeds in my garden all week. If you’re an avid gardener like me and spend lots of time in Nature, you already know how mindfulness can sneak in without notice. For example, you know how when you notice one thing as a truth it can become a truth across many aspects of life…

Well, what I noticed as I was planting these seeds is: 1. the act of planting seeds is a promise of something more – 2. Planting seeds is an act of faith – 3. Planting seeds is a commitment to nurture – AND 4. Wait for it – the crossover to other aspects; even the greatest creations start as a seed in someone’s imagination! My favorite tree, the mighty oak starts from a small acorn.

“In every seed lie the components of all life the world has known from all time to now.”
—Sister Joan Chittister

Mother Nature shows us in so many ways how to practice our faith even if it’s the size of a mustard seed. Every time I plant a seed I deny a weed and I’m practicing a form of faith showing my courage to believe in something I cannot see, because when I plant okra seeds, I expect and get okra plants and pods. Planting and promising is a dance Mother Nature and I have done well for over 50 years.

Think about the seed it just does what is imprinted in it to do. It cracks open and produces its bounty. When an acorn seed sprouts, I wonder if it knows how grand its manifestation will be. I am enamored with trees of all types but there is one particular live oak – “The Angel Tree” outside of Charleston, NC… (pictured above) that I’ve only seen pictures of, but dream of touching my bare feet on its bare roots. I wonder did this acorn seed know – how long its manifestation would be on the planet – how magnificent it would become – the recognition it would gain and sustain – I bet not! I believe it just went about being an acorn doing what is written for it to do….

“What is the cause of the growth of an acorn? – The oak that is to come!” ~ Joseph Campbell

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could be a seed that cracks open to grow into the most magnificent expression of what is written/encoded on our soul – to have the courage to trust the process?

Wouldn’t it be nice if we remembered, when people start piling fertilizer/shit on us that we are a seed and we will grow through the mess to BE the finest expression of our soul’s imprinted message?

Wouldn’t it be nice to remember we need the gifts of challenge, contrast, conflict, choice, and change to become our own version of the mighty oak?

“They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.” Mexican proverb

I am ready and willing to crack open and BE the best version of ME! Remember no matter what happens, the acorn’s best expression is to be the mighty oak tree…

“If you want a tree to grow – you have to water and nourish the roots not just the leaves.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

Your turn:

Are you willing and ready to BE? What would you want to BE? What do you think is already encoded in you?  Share with me in the reply area below, thanks for sharing.

Come back soon for another cup of comfort – Seeds to be continued…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: C J | May 11, 2016

Final Testament

Deep in rural Alabama sits this incredible structure, like a dog-eared page reminding us of a very old book. Built in the decade just before the Civil War, this Presbyterian Church was probably bui…

Source: Final Testament

2 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Posted by: C J | February 29, 2016

I find myself learning how to be…

Still again…

 

 

Let nature watch you...

Let nature watch you…

Just the other day, I heard a mother scream at her little boy, “Sit your ass down and get still!” – I’m thinking how the hell is that going to happen when you just amped him up with your voice and your energy? It’s kinda like, “Stop that crying before I really give you something to cry about!” Now you’ve scared the heck out of me and all I can do is, suck in air loudly, trying to calm myself. Anyway my whole point is we all need to allow the time to be still and experience life at a different pace.

 

Unplug from your devices long enough to experience life without facing a screen.

I’ve noticed that the more I want to find solace in silence, I look to Mother Nature. Everyone who knows me well, knows I am a yard and garden fanatic. So I am outside a lot and I pay attention to Nature. Every morning I feed at least 7 species of song birds on my back deck. I’ve learned if I am still long enough the birds accept me as part of their realm. The chickadees are the first to ignore me and eat while I’m standing near them but if I stay still long enough the other birds will too.

In the caption picture of the hawk, (right off my back deck), we were watching each other for about 3 minutes, I felt honored and privileged to lock eyes with this hawk.

“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.” Albert Einstein

I also noticed when I’m in the yard sitting motionless, near the butterflies’ landing spots they will land on me. So what I need to learn again is to just be still and experience the timelessness of life, to observe the many ways Nature invites me to just be and let the world do its happy dance.

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”  ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

I’ve decided to settle into the speed of soul, which knows no time frames or time limits. I choose to let my soul shine effortlessly.  Some days I feel like a spiritual ninja – taking a vow to listen to the whispers, a vow to see what is really in front of me, and a vow to be a landing spot for Nature’s beauty.

All of my quiet efforts to unplug from the electronic devises long enough to hear mySelf think and to feel my own feelings, ensures me a great ROI (return on investment). Please believe, silence is user-friendly.

Here are 4 quick ways to be still for 5 – 10 minutes:

  1. Commune with Nature
  2. Meditate
  3. Listen to your favorite soothing music
  4. Pursue creativity

Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

5 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: C J | January 1, 2016

Letting go does not mean…

dandelion

It’s ready to go…

you’re weak it means you’re strong!

Letting go does not mean you’re giving up – you’re giving in – or that you’re giving out; it just means that you’re throwing out the fantasy of what you wish “it” was/is for a better reality.

On Tuesdays (trash day), I throw out the trash and don’t expect or want the trash man to bring it all back to me the next week, because trash needs to be trashed. I simply accept that the it is gone and let it go.

As we reflect on 2015 and imagine 2016; let’s release the fear inducing “stuff” and be open and available to the joy infusing “stuff”. It’s time for you to let go of what is trying to let go of you! If not now – when?

“Letting go is an act of love!” Guy Finley

Once you let go don’t go back and pick “IT” up, don’t go back and play with it, don’t go back and entertain it again… go ahead breathe out loud (BOL) and let go. If and when “stuff” bubbles up again, and please believe it will pop up again, but don’t resist it, just acknowledge it and give the “stuff” permission to keep moving on.

“People have a hard time letting go of suffering.” Thich Nhat Hanh

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!  Instead of making easy-to-break resolutions; I am making commitments. For example, I am committed to spending more time in my yard not just working but enjoying its beauty. I am committed to writing more for the joy of it. And I’m committed to buying and reading Mark Nepo’s latest book. These are just a few – I’m sure I’ll add more as the year progresses.

Let go and grow with the flow!

What are you willing to commit to for your New Year?

Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

8 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Posted by: C J | October 31, 2015

Ladies why is it that most of us need permission to…

Practice self-care?

Can I please????

Can I please????

How do you give yourSelf permission to practice self-care? Too often we use illness as our permission slip – by becoming ill – because if we’re sick no one is going to call us lazy or selfish for taking care of ourselves. Am I right?

How do you define “taking care of yourSelf”? Is it by cooking your favorite meal, polishing your nails, or watching a marathon of your favorite TV show? For me it is all of the above plus: taking the time to exercise, work in my garden, or taking a long hot bath.

“How you treat yourSelf demonstrates your self-worth.” Dr. CJ 

Finally it’s your turn to create a quick daily ritual that allows you to BE more in tuned with your wants and needs. Self-first is not selfish; I’m not talking about in a narcissistic self-absorbed kinda’ way. I simply mean if you’re hungry eat, if your knees hurt sit down, or if you need to pee go pee. As women we often put off our basic needs until everyone else’s is met. Am I right?

What does it feel like when you take care of your wants and needs? I must confess I still feel guilty at times for taking the time to polish my toenails when the kitchen floor needs to be swept, or I’m wondering who needs my attention instead of my toes??? BUT I’m allowing mySelf to FLY = first love yourSelf. Self-neglect helps no one, because the better I feel and look the better I can help others.

“The things you do the most are the things you will do the best.” Marva Collins

I’ve been reading the book, ‘Writing Down Your Soul’ by Janet Conner.  She has a section that shows us how to give ourselves permission to do – (Whatever) – So I am merely passing it on to you. I give you permission to practice guilt-free self-care. If you visit my https://www.facebook.com/Caregivers-Self-care-Movement-341211359331412, you can get weekly tips on how to do just that.

What if, when you or I practice self-care we are merely telling the world, “I am you-nique, amazing, and important.” And I’m giving mySelf permission to be AMAZING out loud and enjoy life on my terms and no longer feel guilty for taking care of my needs too. Wouldn’t it be nice if you were to join me?

“Self-care is not an option!” Dr. CJ

 How do you give yourSelf permission to accept what the Universe has in store for you each day?

If you have 5 minutes – look out the window and watch Mother Nature

If you have 10 minutes – meditate with music

If you have 30 minutes – take a bath and do your nails

Today is Halloween go ‘head and TREAT YOURSELF!

Come back soon for another cup-of-comfort…

7 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , ,

Posted by: C J | September 23, 2015

Balance is the key to knowing how to…

Autumn-Equinox-Pixrespect and cherish the light and the dark times of your life!

 

Happy Day of Balance where The Universe gives day and night equal time to shine their rays and beams and here in the USA today, we get to experience equal amounts of dark and light. This Autumn Equinox is your chance to find more balance in your day and night.

The late Debbie Ford shared in her book, “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers”that balance between the two sides is how we reclaim our power, creativity, brilliance, and dreams. Because we must honor all aspects of ourselves                                                                 yes even the dark as well as the light.

Dr. Carl Jung taught us about our shadow self – that dark part of us we often don’t want to share with others because they might think ill of us or not like all of who we are. In this day of social media bullying, I can understand why people are so choosy as to whom they allow into their private intimate space. And yet we all have dark and light energy within us.

“… Achieving balance is a major key therefore find balance in everything you do.”   Bishop T D Jakes

Shayla@WealthyWomenHealers.com, says of the darkness, “The dark is so rich and fertile, and so often maligned. It is in the depth of our darkness that our light shines most brightly. It is our pain and suffering that increases our power as healers, as leaders in the awakening of compassion and love.” I agree with her, because just like the yin/yang symbol there is light in the darkness and darkness in the light.

“Sometimes we are put in dark places so that we can be the light.” Reverend Geraldine Jenkins

Happy Autumn Equinox everyone let’s take the time to BOL (breathe out loud) and enjoy the changing of the season as the reason to take the time, energy, and space to review, renew, and reboot as we honor and treasure both the light and dark sides of life.

Let your light shine not blind!

Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

Leave a Comment

Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , ,

Posted by: C J | July 28, 2015

Some people think they’re victims when in reality they…

Are volunteers!

Do you volunteer?

Do you volunteer?

 

 

Yo’ CJ what are you talking about now?

Let me explain – when unexpected, unforeseen, or most often unsolicited things happen to us we’re victims. BUT when we’ve “been there done that” too many time to count we are volunteers. Check this out; when we keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome not only are we acting out the definition of insanity we are volunteering for the insanity.

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” Albert Einstein

For example – I had a “friend” who was constantly late for our agreed upon meeting time and I’m talking 25 to 30 minutes late – after the third time I was stuck sitting and waiting on her to get her _____ to the restaurant, I decided that I was volunteering for this madness because in reality, I expected her to be late and she was always late. Now mind you I’m the type if I’m five minutes late I feel guilty for not keeping my end of the bargain. Anyway I made a commitment to myself this is the last time I am sitting here playing like I don’t mind that she is late. I had to draw the line on my time and energy. I let her know that her lateness lifestyle/habit is not okay with me.

She was narcissistic enough to giggle and say, “Girl please you know me and what’s a few minutes between friends!” Of course, since I drew the line I had to stand my ground and didn’t agree to anymore restaurant meetings and our “friendship” failed to thrive.

Healthy boundaries help us achieve and maintain: self-respect, self-love, and self-care! Dr. CJ 

Anyway my whole point is this – it is our task to draw our line (boundaries) and it is our responsibility to let others know the line exist. If you have an invisible line or if it is made of rubber, don’t get your feelings hurt or get upset when someone steps on the line or crosses it. If your line is too flexible – even you might have the tendency to continually move it to accommodate others. Double-dutch works in jumping rope but not in maintaining your boundary line.

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” Friedrich Nietzsche 

Keep your promises!  Put a mental DO NOT CROSS sign on your promises – especially to yourSelf – let your NO mean no and your YES mean yes. If you won’t keep promises to yourSelf – that means you’re not trustworthy- because now your mind, body, and spirit can’t trust you to keep your word/promise and if you can’t trust yourSelf — why should anyone else trust you…

To help maintain your line you have to be clear, convinced, and committed to your boundaries.

Victim or volunteer your choice!

Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

 

 

 

6 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: C J | May 29, 2015

The unsinkable became the unthinkable and …

that’s just the tip of the iceberg...

 

The Experts were wrong...

The Experts were wrong…

I am not sure why, but for whatever reason, The TITANIC has taken up space in my realm of awareness; I keep seeing pictures of it, hearing references to it, and its storyline came up in a Facebook game I play. So when it showed up in the game” Criminal Case”,  I decided it’s time for me to take a closer look at the messages, lessons, or nudges that I’ve ignored .

I have been drawn to and watched several documentaries on its maiden and only voyage, the finding of what still exist of the wreckage still on the ocean floor. I’ve watched with my eyes wide open, ears perked, and gel pens in my hands taking notes.

 If you only knew how much I hate and fear large bodies of water you would understand why I’m surprised and confused about why all of this has been in my energy field for a while now. OMG, is that why I hate large bodies of water and the thought of going on a cruise ship makes me cringe and want to upchuck – was I a victim on the Titanic in another lifetime??? LOL – Anyway….

I want to share with you a few things that make me go MMMM:

  • Warnings were ignored – Jack Phillips, the wireless telegraph operator didn’t pass on the messages he received from other ships about The Titanic being in the path of an iceberg and entering an ice field – he decided he would take those messages to the bridge at a later time. Nudge – sometimes later is too late…
  • It was called the Ship of Dreams BUT became the ship of Nightmares even for those who survived. I’m sure they had lots of nightmares after being safely in their homes because near death experiences aren’t something you just get over quickly. Nudge – someone else’s dream can become your nightmare and some things are too good to be true…
  • For many immigrants who were leaving the poorest of conditions in their home country for the promise of AMERICA; that voyage was the best time of their life. Nudge – sometimes living for the moment as if there will be no tomorrow is not by choice…

5 lessons I learned from the Titanic:

  1. Non-negotiable – the ice field and iceberg were non-negotiable and 37 seconds warning was not enough time to change course for the Titanic. We all have -ice-fields and icebergs ahead because there just are things in our life that are beyond our control and the sooner we recognize that truth “we” can decide what is negotiable.
  2. Experts can be wrong – The best ship experts of the day believed and stated often – it is the biggest, the best, and safest ever – it is unsinkable. Whelp, they were wrong – it took only 2 hrs and 40 min for it to sink.
  3. Be prepared – the ship’s captain, crew, and passengers believed the experts’ opinion that their ship was unsinkable – so The Titanic was not ready with enough life jackets or lifeboats to save its passengers. The passengers trusted that they were on the best possible ship and in the best possible care. Trust but verify…
  4. Take nothing for granted – Enjoy the moment – because the moments become hours and hours may be all we have – who knows… There are no guarantees for tomorrow.
  5. Trust your instincts – I wonder how many people ignored their gut when it said, “Don’t go on that voyage”? Intuition trumps logic every time.

It is Your turn: Please leave your answers below.

A.  Where in your life is something non-negotiable?

B.  Where in your life are/were the experts wrong?

C.  When did you trust or mistrust your instincts and lived to celebrate or regret it?

 I’ll start us off.

Mistrust: In July of 2006 my gut/instincts kept telling me to NOT go on a road trip to Oklahoma from Georgia – I ignored my gut and went anyway. Whelp, we were in a terrible car wreck flipped in the air 4 times landing 600 feet from highway – it could have been life ending but God showed us favor.

 I even had a dream about being in a car wreck a couple of weeks before we left and went anyway. In my dream I died and in real-life in my suitcase, I had the outfit that I died I in my dream, but chose not to wear that day.  Trust me when I say trust your gut instincts!

 Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

6 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: C J | April 14, 2015

#BringBackOurGirls – 1 Year Later

I stand with all the mothers who long for their daughters to be back in their arms. #BRINGBACKOURGIRLS-NOW!

chakiraj's avatarA Single, Sassy, Curvy Girl's Journey

One year ago, April 14, 2014, 270 Nigerian school girlswere kidnapped from their boarding school by the militant Islamist group Boko Haram. The terrorist group does not believe that women should be educated. That really hit home for me. I come from a long line of strong women. I have two degrees, and my mother has three, the third being a doctorate in psychology. I cannot fathom the concept that I, as a young woman trying to better myself and further my education, would have been at the mercy of a radical terrorist group simply because I wanted to learn.I know that there are religions and cultures throughout the world that also hold this belief. But these girls, these young women, they looked like me. How could this happen? How is it that a year later, the girls are still being held hostage? How is it, in the year…

View original post 150 more words

2 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Posted by: C J | March 30, 2015

Are you suffocating from these….

unhealthy soul-ties or cords?

Cut-the-cord NOW!

Cut-the-cord NOW

Is it time to cut the cord of soul-ties to people, places, things, patterns, and habits that are no longer relevant, effective, or supportive of you? Well for me – it is and it’s all part of my spring cleaning. I’ve made a list of people and places that I’m ready to cut the cord and detach so I can shine brighter.

 

Cutting these cords or ties simply means that I choose to release negative energy that keeps me attached to whatever no long supports me. It doesn’t mean that I have to stop loving or caring for a person it does mean I love mySelf enough to release unhealthy attachments or toxic relationships.

Come join me. I bet you have some cords you want or need to cut too.

Please believe that cords can also include an attachment to a time period. Come on – tell the truth I know you know people who are still stuck in a decade – like the 1980’s or 90’s. They’re afraid if they stop dressing like or wearing their hair like when they were a teenager it will change who they are and no one will recognize them. Fear of rejection can maintain cords of attachment.

“… Etheric cords (and all attachments) are created from fear.” Doreen Virtue

There are positive and negative cords of attachment – but today I’m focusing on negative unhealthy attachments. These types of ties usually operate on the subconscious level and believe it or not are part of a mutual sacred contract. Some ties start out healthy and helpful but over time and experiences morph into toxic ties and contracts that need to be severed.

If you find yourSelf in a situation or relationship that drains you more than empowering you and you just can’t figure out why – you are probably in need of energetic surgery to cut those soul-ties. Don’t get it twisted – just because you get a divorce or break off a relationship does not mean the ties have been cut at the cellular level.

“Cutting a cord does not mean ending a relationship. It means releasing problems that repeat endlessly on the level of energy.” Rose Rosetree

What is a cord? It is an energetic connection between you and someone, something, and some place.

Why cut the cord? The connection is no longer relevant, effective, or supportive.

I’m not saying it is easy because any change or cord cutting has a pain of its own. But if we want to live more fully every day we have to find a way. Mark Nepo says, “Often we give up our right to renewal to accommodate the anxiety of those around us.”  I agree with Mr. Nepo and add; it is time to be decisive, tireless, and creative with the lightness or whatever else we gain from cutting off dead weight.

“Strong and flexible energetic boundaries allow us to share who we truly are with the world.” Cyndi Dale

When I was a therapist for Flint Circuit Council on Family Violence years ago there were 3 sentences I heard so many times I still  cringe when I hear them because of the toxic hold theses sentences held on the women. 1. “He’s my soul –mate.” 2.”I owe him my unconditional love.” 3. “The Bible says to be submissive to my husband and that’s what I’m doing.”  UGGH.

Two truths about soul mates: 1. Too many people use it as an excuse to stay in a bad or unhealthy relationship 2. If he truly is your soul-mate you’ll meet him again next lifetime so let it go NOW, because it’s killing you now.

Two truths about unconditional love: 1. it does not mean take a beating and keep on loving the beater. 2. Loving him shouldn’t hurt you.

Two truths about the submissive wife verse: according to my understanding of the Bible: 1. most people don’t read the verse above it. 2. Abusers use it as a tool to control and manipulate.

5 things to do now:

  1. Cut that cord – unplug – detach from the soul-tie SEEMP (spiritual, emotional, energetic, mental, & physical)
  2. Dispose of the cord-  symbolically burn and bury it
  3. Cleanse and heal the attachment point- let go SEEMP so that you can heal
  4. Fill the new  void- with love, light, and positive energy
  5. Bless the whole situation and everyone involved

After completing the five actions above – if it feels like pieces of the attachment is to hanging around I do a couple of rounds of EFT (emotional freedom technique) to completely remove the emotional and mental charge that might be lingering. Use your favorite search engine to find more information on EFT if you are not familiar with it.

What if we stop accommodating other people’s anxiety and become comfortable with other people’s discomfort in us so we can experience what it feels like to the cut the cords or shed what’s dead?

What cords are you ready to cut?

Come back soon for another cup of comfort…

Leave a Comment

Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »

Categories