Doctor C J's Blog

unhealthy soul-ties or cords?

Cut-the-cord NOW

Is it time to cut the cord of soul-ties to people, places, things, patterns, and habits that are no longer relevant, effective, or supportive of you? Well for me – it is and it’s all part of my spring cleaning. I’ve made a list of people and places that I’m ready to cut the cord and detach so I can shine brighter.

Cutting these cords or ties simply means that I choose to release negative energy that keeps me attached to whatever no long supports me. It doesn’t mean that I have to stop loving or caring for a person it does mean I love mySelf enough to release unhealthy attachments or toxic relationships.

Come join me. I bet you have some cords you want or need to cut too.

Please believe that cords can also include an attachment to a time period. Come on – tell the truth I know you know people who are still stuck in a decade – like the 1980’s or 90’s. They’re afraid if they stop dressing like or wearing their hair like when they were a teenager it will change who they are and no one will recognize them. Fear of rejection can maintain cords of attachment.

“… Etheric cords (and all attachments) are created from fear.” Doreen Virtue

There are positive and negative cords of attachment – but today I’m focusing on negative unhealthy attachments. These types of ties usually operate on the subconscious level and believe it or not are part of a mutual sacred contract. Some ties start out healthy and helpful but over time and experiences morph into toxic ties and contracts that need to be severed.

If you find yourSelf in a situation or relationship that drains you more than empowering you and you just can’t figure out why – you are probably in need of energetic surgery to cut those soul-ties. Don’t get it twisted – just because you get a divorce or break off a relationship does not mean the ties have been cut at the cellular level.

“Cutting a cord does not mean ending a relationship. It means releasing problems that repeat endlessly on the level of energy.” Rose Rosetree

What is a cord? It is an energetic connection between you and someone, something, and some place.

Why cut the cord? The connection is no longer relevant, effective, or supportive.

I’m not saying it is easy because any change or cord cutting has a pain of its own. But if we want to live more fully every day we have to find a way. Mark Nepo says, “Often we give up our right to renewal to accommodate the anxiety of those around us.”  I agree with Mr. Nepo and add; it is time to be decisive, tireless, and creative with the lightness or whatever else we gain from cutting off dead weight.

“Strong and flexible energetic boundaries allow us to share who we truly are with the world.” Cyndi Dale

When I was a therapist for Flint Circuit Council on Family Violence years ago there were 3 sentences I heard so many times I still  cringe when I hear them because of the toxic hold theses sentences held on the women. 1. “He’s my soul –mate.” 2.”I owe him my unconditional love.” 3. “The Bible says to be submissive to my husband and that’s what I’m doing.”  UGGH.

Two truths about soul mates: 1. Too many people use it as an excuse to stay in a bad or unhealthy relationship 2. If he truly is your soul-mate you’ll meet him again next lifetime so let it go NOW, because it’s killing you now.

Two truths about unconditional love: 1. it does not mean take a beating and keep on loving the beater. 2. Loving him shouldn’t hurt you.

Two truths about the submissive wife verse: according to my understanding of the Bible: 1. most people don’t read the verse above it. 2. Abusers use it as a tool to control and manipulate.

5 things to do now:

1. Cut that cord – unplug – detach from the soul-tie SEEMP (spiritual, emotional, energetic, mental, & physical)
2. Dispose of the cord-  symbolically burn and bury it
3. Cleanse and heal the attachment point- let go SEEMP so that you can heal
4. Fill the new  void- with love, light, and positive energy
5. Bless the whole situation and everyone involved

After completing the five actions above – if it feels like pieces of the attachment is to hanging around I do a couple of rounds of EFT (emotional freedom technique) to completely remove the emotional and mental charge that might be lingering. Use your favorite search engine to find more information on EFT if you are not familiar with it.

What if we stop accommodating other people’s anxiety and become comfortable with other people’s discomfort in us so we can experience what it feels like to the cut the cords or shed what’s dead?

What cords are you ready to cut?

Come back soon for another cup of comfort…