Posted by: C J | March 16, 2023

Living the Dream

Posted by: C J | May 24, 2021

5-ways to Balance Self-care and Caregiving

5 Ways to Balance Practicing Personal Self Care with a Busy Caregiving Life

Caregiving changes everything including how you care for yourself! One of the most difficult challenges a lot of women face with self-care, is finding the time to fit it in. When you live a busy caregiving lifestyle, it can seem almost impossible to find extra time to look after you.

So, how can you balance practicing ‘guilt-free’ self-care with a busy lifestyle? Let’s explore, below are some great tips you can follow.

  1. Schedule it in

A good tip you can follow to ensure you can fit self-care into your busy routine, is to schedule it in. Think about it, you schedule in everything else, so why not self-care? When you set a time to focus on yourself, you are much more likely to stick to it. No matter how busy you think you are, there will always be time for guilt-free self-care somewhere in your schedule. Remember “no time” is no excuse because self-care is not an option.

Be number one on your schedule – it’s your time

2. Establish a morning routine

If you are struggling to find the best time of day to practice self-care, you might find it easier in the morning right after you get up, before the day’s distractions can overtake your day. If you’re a busy parent, you might disagree here but think about it. In the morning, you could get up just 30 minutes earlier, or 15 minutes if you want. This can be the perfect opportunity to practice self-care. Make it as automatic as brewing coffee or tea.

Alternatively, if you are a caregiver you could focus on self-care in the evenings when the others have gone to bed. It doesn’t take long to practice self-care so you should always be able to squeeze it in somewhere. You are worth the squeeze.

You are worth the squeeze, unapologetically

3. Look at automating daily tasks

There are all kinds of tools and gadgets that can automate various aspects of our lives. If you are constantly busy, you’ll find automating certain tasks can be a game changer. Delegate what you hate. There’s an app for almost everything these days.

For example, you could switch from going to the grocery store, to ordering groceries online for curbside pick-up at the store or delivered to your home. If you have items, you frequently purchase, these can be added to your favorites list, making it easier to add them to your order next time. Doing your grocery shopping online can free up a lot of free time during the week that can be used on you. This helped me so much during the COVID 19 pandemic; I didn’t have take time to pick out an outfit, put on make-up, or walk through the aisles.

Let others help you

4. Start small

You don’t have to start by completely overhauling your lifestyle. Instead, you can start small with self-care. Begin by taking just 10 minutes out of each day to focus on your favorite self-care activity. Focus on developing one positive self-care habit at a time. Once you have mastered one, you can move on to the next activity.

By starting small, it’s easier to fit self-care into your busy life. Many people mistakenly think they need to begin with at least 30 minutes a day. But the truth is, however, much time you can free up for self-care is right for you. Once you get started with a routine and it becomes an enjoyable habit, you’ll find it easier to keep up the routine. You will begin to notice a more relaxed energetic you.

I know, balancing and practicing ‘guilt-free’ self-care with a busy caregiving lifestyle isn’t easy. No one said it would be easy – but indeed worth it for you and your loved ones.

Start one step, one habit, or one routine at a time. NOW!

5. Just do it for you!

Sometimes you just have to do You. Yes, do what’s best for you not what’s best for everyone else but you. It’s not selfish to do self-first because you cannot give what you do not have. If you don’t have energy how are you going to take care of others effectively? No matter how busy you are find ways to carve out time, space, and energy to take care of you spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially.

You got this gurrlfriend go for it!

Posted by: C J | January 20, 2021

Are you being mindful of…

what’s about to happen…

In a few hours we will bear witness to a historical American monumental wrinkle in time; a woman will become our Vice President. A woman of color married to a man of non-color WOW! I am so excited that not only am I going to witness it, but my vote in GA helped make this happen.

Another event that is exciting to me is that we have the man who chose Senator Kamala Harris to be his vice president was the vice president for eight years for a black man and now four years later he is going to be our President. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy being aware that I’m making history and witnessing history.

I remember in 1972 when Shirley Chisholm ran for president, I was 18 years old and the first generation of teenagers that were allowed to vote in elections. Even though I didn’t think Ms. Chisholm had a snowball chance in hell to win it was exciting.

So, in my lifetime I have witnessed and been an active part of events that when I was growing up in rural Oklahoma didn’t think would happen in my lifetime has happened. 1. Teenagers were allowed to vote 2. A president (Kennedy) cared about black people enough to facilitate some change. 3. Shirley Chisholm and Jessie Jackson both ran for president. I remember shaking his hand while he was campaigning in Pueblo, CO. 4. Barack Obama became the first black president and successfully completed two terms. 5. Ex Vice President Biden will be the president. 6. Kamala Harris will be our VP. 7. The first black man Rev. Raphael Warnock and first Jewish man Jon Ossoff, from Georgia have been certified as our new senators!

YES, INDEED I’M CELEBRATING tomorrow. I will have on my Chucks, my pearls, a big smile, and I will be smudging for a brighter future for America. Y’all come join me.

How will you celebrate???

Posted by: C J | August 3, 2020

Let’s All Eat at the…

Celebration Table










“The table is a meeting place, a gathering ground, the source of sustenance and nourishment, festivity, safety, and satisfaction.” Laurie Colwin (1944-1992).

So, if the table is a special meeting place, a gathering space, a source for spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical sustenance. Where is my place setting? And if it’s where nourishment, celebration, and family continuation takes place; why is my family missing from America’s Celebration round table?

As a black American I deserve to eat from the ‘good’ china, I deserve to sit at the round table, I deserve to use the best silverware, and the crystal stemware. My family is no longer just the servants, the guess who’s coming to dinner guest, or mere entertainers for your delight.

I am family. I too sing America.

I deserve the morsels of joy, harmony, and serenity. I have a right to be proud of my culture, my skin even when it is the shade of rape by the slave master.

We all know that without food we would die. And without fellowship, without inclusion life is missing something. The basic needs for food, security, love, and the pursuit of happiness beckons us ALL.

My family has suffered psychic starvation and recognition deprivation. From now on, when America hunkers down to enjoy a meal at the Celebration table, it’s time to make room for the rest of the family. Remember your ancestors stole or bought my ancestors and then brought them to a land stolen from the Native Americans.

I am family. I too sing America.

When America sits down to share the stories, the memories, and the glory of being an American, I want to be included in our Nations Memory, by telling the whole story. Tell how the hue-man race and all its cultures, colors, and ethnicity helped make this Nation from the very beginning. I want to feel that sense of belonging, that sense of being appreciated, and that sense of collective connectedness.

Since 1619 my ancestral mothers nursed your ancestors’ babies, my ancestors plowed the fields for the meals, they cooked the food, and made/set the table.  Hell yeah, I want to eat at this table my family created, maintained, and sustained.

Crispus Attucks, Peter Salem, and Barzilai Lew; three black men and heroes of the American Revolution, paid for my seat at the Celebration Table.

Here’s the thing; America’s Founding Fathers are my great-great-great grandfathers too! And I’m ready to cash that 244-year-old, IOU of “all men are created equal”!

I am family. I too sing America.


C J Johnson, PsyD

  1. 27. 20


Balance. Breathe. Believe.








This week as I was watching the blades of grass grow toward the sun, in my much need to be cut yard. I started wondering what else could I be doing, during this Global mandated pause? That’s when I remembered ‘Pause with a Purpose’. Years ago when I taught at a community college in Griffin, Georgia, I would give my Psych 101 and Abnormal Psych students extra credit if they would write a response to a question, quote, or statement that I made. It was called ‘Pause with a Purpose’, I wanted to give them a break from their class work. And back then students loved getting extra credit!

“It’s amazing that something we can’t see is showing us a different way to BE.”

So, what if we paused with a purpose? What if, we looked at this Universal mandate to stay home – as an unwrapped gift? What if, we can finally carve out time, space, and energy for guilt-free self-care?  What if, the unwrapped gift is you feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and renewed? I know “self-care” has become a billion-dollar buzzword/business for so many companies. BUT not for us, let’s keep it real and personal. You don’t have to spend a whole lot of money to practice guilt-free self-care.

Here’s 10 ways to Pause with a Purpose:

  1. Meditate – Mystical Cord (Dr. Michael Beckwith) – Change Gonna Come (Michael McDonald Brian Owens) – Dearest Body (The Reach). All of these can be found on YouTube.
  2. Move – walk in Nature be curious and open to what Mother Nature wants to show you, dance as if no one is watching, pull out your favorite exercise DVD
  3. Sing – as if your voice is award winning, sing as if it will improve your attitude, sing as if you’re getting paid to entertain loved ones
  4. Write – your favorite childhood memories, make up a fun character, rewrite the ending to one of your favorite movies.
  5. Read – ‘Mary Magdalene Revealed’ by Meggan Watterson, ‘Wombology: healing what your grandmother’s daughter gave you’ by Dr. CJ Johnson, and ‘Your Holiness’ by the late Debbie Ford.
  6. Sew – embroidery, make face mask to donate those in need, aprons to give to your favorite cooks
  7. Create – something in the kitchen, something from your craft/junk drawer, create a self-care routine
  8. Appreciate – create and maintain a gratitude jar, tell someone how much you appreciate them, show the world that you appreciate what you do have, instead of whining about what you don’t have
  9. Joy-fuel – you bring the joy to a situation, you be the sparkle to someone’s shine, you will feed your soul every time you are the joy-fuel
  10. Inhale and exhale – find time to appreciate the space and time that is in between the two essential breaths. When we come into this world the first thing, we do is inhale. When we leave this world the last thing, we do is exhale.


BTW: Stay out of the kitchen. One of my friends said, “I swear my refrigerator door just told me, please try leaving me closed for the next hour.”  (LOL) One of my nephews said, “This quarantine 15 lbs. is for real y’all.”  My mom said, “Oh Lord, I think I’ve gained about 20 lbs I’ve got to start moving more outside of this house.” Yep, now is a great time to create a new type of stay-n-shape routine.


Come back for another cup of comfort!


Posted by: C J | January 31, 2020

This is Day One of me…

Happy New Year

Time to sparkle and shine!


no longer saying or thinking some day I will ….

My daughter blessed me, herself, and another friend with the gift of being one of 12 thousand people in Atlanta, at the State Farm Arena last Saturday with Oprah. It was a full day of working through our shyt and coming up with our vision, intention, and commitment.

“Is it one day, or Day one?” Oprah

She had us laughing, crying, and thinking deeply. My three biggest take aways are:
1. Set a clear intention for what you want, who you are and where you want to go. Because if your intention isn’t clear, distractions will get you off track quickly and daily. You can’t place a confused intention and expect the Universe to show up on your behalf.

“Keep your why close by.” Oprah

2. Find a way to to keep your word to yourSelf and your desires. In other words, stop lying to yourSelf, for whatever reason. For most of us it’s because we don’t think we’re good enough. But we are good enough.

“You don’t get what you want; you get what you intend.” Oprah

3. Stop waiting on that one BIG break, but take one significant life-transforming step at a time. Get into your own rhythm and commit to your own journey and the Universe will support you. She had us chanting loudly; “I can. I will. Watch Me!”

“Knowing where you are on your journey is a gift.” Oprah

And did I mention; Tamela Mann and Dewayne Johnson/ THE ROCK were there. OMG it was a long and amazing day; we rocked that house!

For the past five years, instead of resolutions I choose a word for the new year. Saturday,  Oprah kept saying my word, which is surrender; I took that as a sign. So, this last day of January finds me setting my intention, making a commitment, and surrendering to the Universe/God who is guiding and guarding my steps.


Posted by: C J | July 30, 2019

How many times have you uttered…

a criticism without knowing the whole story?

WTH is this???

We’ll discuss the above picture in a little bit.

Context, context, man we’re talking about context (in my Allen Iverson’s voice). Putting things into context means telling the whole story or knowing as much about the situation as possible. For me context includes: the information or backstory, my knowledge about the situation or the commonly accepted knowledge, and last but not least what part does wisdom play in this story.

Ever wonder about the difference between the words: information, knowledge, and wisdom?

Information is a gathering of words, documents, data which have been organized for a purpose… You can Google information and gain some knowledge, but you can’t Google wisdom.

Knowledge is a skill set, understanding something, and or comprehension of information

Wisdom is knowledge, information, intuition, and most often something you have experienced

Here’s my favorite analogy – Information tells a boxer he’s going to be in a ring fighting on March 10, 2020. Knowledge tells the boxer while in the ring he will have to bob and weave to stay in the fight. Wisdom tells the boxer when to bob, weave, and throw a punch, to win the fight. See, there truly is a difference. Let’s look at some examples of all three used in context.

A black man dresses up like a woman, puts on shoes, full corset, and even a hat or bonnet. He goes out into the dark streets on the arms of a white gentleman; giggling at the gentleman’s jokes. But – wait before you judge, dismiss, or criticize this man dressed as a woman. He was a run-away slave escaping from those white men who wanted to return him to slavery. He sashayed right passed them without their knowledge of what was really happening. In context, they used information, knowledge, and wisdom to be brave enough to pull that off.

“Sometimes your greatest strength can emerge as a weakness if the context changes.” Harsha Bhogle

For the past three years, I’ve been trying to figure out why there are so many angry people at rallies of the winner of the 2016 presidential election. As I was working on this post about context; it came to me. What if, anger is fear out of context? What if these red-faced, middle finger pointing people are just afraid and don’t know how to handle their fears? What if, their fear is of being replaced, fear of becoming irrelevant, or the thought of a new normal they cannot handle? To put their fear in context; they shudder at the thought of living in my world, as a minority in today’s America!

“For me context is the key – from that comes the understanding of everything.” Kenneth Noland

What did you think when you first looked at the picture above? It looks like a gigantic mushroom doesn’t it? Most people say, “And so what is that?”. Because they don’t know what it is, it doesn’t mean anything special to them. BUT when I tell them, it is a picture, I took when I was in Cairo, Egypt, in 2008; and it’s the back of the  Sphinx! Then the reaction is, “Oh WOW, really?” Now, it’s a BIG DEAL! So, in context, this picture is a unique view of a great global icon; that is ancient, revered, and awesome!

I do not fear truth. I welcome it. But I wish all of my facts to be in their proper context.” Gordon B. Hinckley

For you: where, who, what, or when have you judged, criticized, or dismissed something or someone because it is out of context or you just don’t have the whole story?

Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

Posted by: C J | May 31, 2019

Every Mountain has a…

valley and every valley has a mountain.

Mountain top or valley

My mom and have talked every Sunday morning for the past 47 years of me not living in my hometown of Watonga. I have keep notes of some of the tidbits of wisdom Mom drops and this is one I think about often.

“Every mountain has a valley and every valley has a mountain.” To complete that thought Mom also said, there are lessons you can only learn on the mountain top and there are lessons you can only learn in the valley.

So for me, I’ve learned to recognize whether I’m on the mountain top or in the valley. Either place and space has its gift of a lesson within. Let’s not even think about the lesson from the plateau; yet.

So, can you recognize which space you’re in and are you willing to receive the lesson within?

Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

Posted by: C J | March 12, 2019

What if, it isn’t even…

about you?









I now realize, that when someone hears you tell a truth that they are not ready to hear, cannot handle, or just plain in denial; they will blame you for their pain. You have dug up something they have been trying to repress and suppress and just don’t want to deal with.

“In order to be effective, truth must penetrate like an arrow – and that’s likely to hurt.” Wei Wu Wei

I also recognize the journey through their outrage and anger at you for telling what they wanted to keep hidden, isn’t even about you! It’s about their anger with themselves for believing and living a lie; that they don’t know how to reverse or reboot… 

“There is always a price for living a lie.” Dr. CJ 

I had a college professor who would go bat-shiiiiiiit crazy when he heard someone in class chewing or smacking gum. His teaching, would come to a halt as he scanned the classroom trying to figure out who was guilty. Of course, he couldn’t so he’d berate in general. For sure, that was NOT about chewing gum or the person chewing the gum. It simple was a nasty trigger for the professor. So, sometimes without knowing it, we are someone’s nasty little trigger. It’s not about you!

 “It is not about you,  it is their issues in their tissues.” Dr. CJ 

I’ve come to understand, if a person can’t handle the truth, it’s because they want to continue to believe and live that lie. And you can’t change that; so, don’t even try – it is a waste of time, space, and energy.

In the past few years I’ve witnessed a lot of anger, a lot of discord, and a lot of yelling and it’s all drenched in the stench of lies. I’m sure you have too unless you’ve been living in the Potala Palace in Tibet.

The worst thing about being lied to – is when you recognize – that the liar didn’t think you were worth the truth. (Sit with that for a minute.) Some people have lying in their DNA; it is as easy as inhaling and exhaling for them. Again, it is not about you.

“Being authentic means you have nothing to hide, prove, defend, or protect.” Lisa Nichols

In the past few years I’ve been vilified, shunned, and dismissed for speaking truth or even just acknowledging a truth I heard; and I love that. Because I know it is not about me.

Even though, it’s not about you – to keep your energy clean and vibrating at a high frequency where Divinity,  creativity, and serenity resides. Sincerely practice the Ho’oponopono prayer daily. 

Come back soon for another cup of comfort…

Posted by: C J | January 1, 2019

It’s that time again…

Time to sparkle and shine!

Hello All,

As, I’m reflecting on 2018’s thoughts, emotions, successes, regrets, fears, and dreams. I am truly grateful that I experienced another year of good health, family time, and lots of yard work.

As this year starts anew, I want to thank you for allowing me into your sacred space. I apologize for NOT posting more in 2018.

Instead of making resolutions for the new year, I choose a word for the year and commit to being, doing, and sharing that word. Whelp, the word for 2018 was ‘amplify’ and I did not do my best.

So, for 2019 the word is ‘evaluate’. My first use is to evaluate what’s already on my plate and decide what to celebrate, what can wait, and what’s still at the gate.

I am so excited that we’ve been given another opportunity to write our own story, follow our Divine path, and stay in alignment with our soul’s assignment. What will you do differently this year?

Have a happy prosperous joy-filled year. Please, remember I love you to the Full Moon and back.

Come back for another cup of comfort!

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