Posted by: C J | July 30, 2019

How many times have you uttered…

a criticism without knowing the whole story?

WTH is this???

We’ll discuss the above picture in a little bit.

Context, context, man we’re talking about context (in my Allen Iverson’s voice). Putting things into context means telling the whole story or knowing as much about the situation as possible. For me context includes: the information or backstory, my knowledge about the situation or the commonly accepted knowledge, and last but not least what part does wisdom play in this story.

Ever wonder about the difference between the words: information, knowledge, and wisdom?

Information is a gathering of words, documents, data which have been organized for a purpose… You can Google information and gain some knowledge, but you can’t Google wisdom.

Knowledge is a skill set, understanding something, and or comprehension of information

Wisdom is knowledge, information, intuition, and most often something you have experienced

Here’s my favorite analogy – Information tells a boxer he’s going to be in a ring fighting on March 10, 2020. Knowledge tells the boxer while in the ring he will have to bob and weave to stay in the fight. Wisdom tells the boxer when to bob, weave, and throw a punch, to win the fight. See, there truly is a difference. Let’s look at some examples of all three used in context.

A black man dresses up like a woman, puts on shoes, full corset, and even a hat or bonnet. He goes out into the dark streets on the arms of a white gentleman; giggling at the gentleman’s jokes. But – wait before you judge, dismiss, or criticize this man dressed as a woman. He was a run-away slave escaping from those white men who wanted to return him to slavery. He sashayed right passed them without their knowledge of what was really happening. In context, they used information, knowledge, and wisdom to be brave enough to pull that off.

“Sometimes your greatest strength can emerge as a weakness if the context changes.” Harsha Bhogle

For the past three years, I’ve been trying to figure out why there are so many angry people at rallies of the winner of the 2016 presidential election. As I was working on this post about context; it came to me. What if, anger is fear out of context? What if these red-faced, middle finger pointing people are just afraid and don’t know how to handle their fears? What if, their fear is of being replaced, fear of becoming irrelevant, or the thought of a new normal they cannot handle? To put their fear in context; they shudder at the thought of living in my world, as a minority in today’s America!

“For me context is the key – from that comes the understanding of everything.” Kenneth Noland

What did you think when you first looked at the picture above? It looks like a gigantic mushroom doesn’t it? Most people say, “And so what is that?”. Because they don’t know what it is, it doesn’t mean anything special to them. BUT when I tell them, it is a picture, I took when I was in Cairo, Egypt, in 2008; and it’s the back of the  Sphinx! Then the reaction is, “Oh WOW, really?” Now, it’s a BIG DEAL! So, in context, this picture is a unique view of a great global icon; that is ancient, revered, and awesome!

I do not fear truth. I welcome it. But I wish all of my facts to be in their proper context.” Gordon B. Hinckley

For you: where, who, what, or when have you judged, criticized, or dismissed something or someone because it is out of context or you just don’t have the whole story?

Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

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Posted by: C J | May 31, 2019

Every Mountain has a…

valley and every valley has a mountain.

Mountain top or valley

My mom and have talked every Sunday morning for the past 47 years of me not living in my hometown of Watonga. I have keep notes of some of the tidbits of wisdom Mom drops and this is one I think about often.

“Every mountain has a valley and every valley has a mountain.” To complete that thought Mom also said, there are lessons you can only learn on the mountain top and there are lessons you can only learn in the valley.

So for me, I’ve learned to recognize whether I’m on the mountain top or in the valley. Either place and space has its gift of a lesson within. Let’s not even think about the lesson from the plateau; yet.

So, can you recognize which space you’re in and are you willing to receive the lesson within?

Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

Posted by: C J | March 12, 2019

What if, it isn’t even…

about you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I now realize, that when someone hears you tell a truth that they are not ready to hear, cannot handle, or just plain in denial; they will blame you for their pain. You have dug up something they have been trying to repress and suppress and just don’t want to deal with.

“In order to be effective, truth must penetrate like an arrow – and that’s likely to hurt.” Wei Wu Wei


I also recognize the journey through their outrage and anger at you for telling what they wanted to keep hidden, isn’t even about you! It’s about their anger with themselves for believing and living a lie; that they don’t know how to reverse or reboot… 

“There is always a price for living a lie.” Dr. CJ 


I had a college professor who would go bat-shiiiiiiit crazy when he heard someone in class chewing or smacking gum. His teaching, would come to a halt as he scanned the classroom trying to figure out who was guilty. Of course, he couldn’t so he’d berate in general. For sure, that was NOT about chewing gum or the person chewing the gum. It simple was a nasty trigger for the professor. So, sometimes without knowing it, we are someone’s nasty little trigger. It’s not about you!

 “It is not about you,  it is their issues in their tissues.” Dr. CJ 

I’ve come to understand, if a person can’t handle the truth, it’s because they want to continue to believe and live that lie. And you can’t change that; so, don’t even try – it is a waste of time, space, and energy.

In the past few years I’ve witnessed a lot of anger, a lot of discord, and a lot of yelling and it’s all drenched in the stench of lies. I’m sure you have too unless you’ve been living in the Potala Palace in Tibet.


The worst thing about being lied to – is when you recognize – that the liar didn’t think you were worth the truth. (Sit with that for a minute.) Some people have lying in their DNA; it is as easy as inhaling and exhaling for them. Again, it is not about you.

“Being authentic means you have nothing to hide, prove, defend, or protect.” Lisa Nichols

In the past few years I’ve been vilified, shunned, and dismissed for speaking truth or even just acknowledging a truth I heard; and I love that. Because I know it is not about me.

Even though, it’s not about you – to keep your energy clean and vibrating at a high frequency where Divinity,  creativity, and serenity resides. Sincerely practice the Ho’oponopono prayer daily. 

Come back soon for another cup of comfort…

Posted by: C J | January 1, 2019

It’s that time again…

Time to sparkle and shine!

Hello All,

As, I’m reflecting on 2018’s thoughts, emotions, successes, regrets, fears, and dreams. I am truly grateful that I experienced another year of good health, family time, and lots of yard work.

As this year starts anew, I want to thank you for allowing me into your sacred space. I apologize for NOT posting more in 2018.

Instead of making resolutions for the new year, I choose a word for the year and commit to being, doing, and sharing that word. Whelp, the word for 2018 was ‘amplify’ and I did not do my best.

So, for 2019 the word is ‘evaluate’. My first use is to evaluate what’s already on my plate and decide what to celebrate, what can wait, and what’s still at the gate.

I am so excited that we’ve been given another opportunity to write our own story, follow our Divine path, and stay in alignment with our soul’s assignment. What will you do differently this year?

Have a happy prosperous joy-filled year. Please, remember I love you to the Full Moon and back.

Come back for another cup of comfort!

Posted by: C J | July 11, 2018

Mindfulness through

making yard art from the heart.

 

I’m often asked, Dr. CJ, what do you do for therapy, what is your stress relief? Well,  working and playing in my yard is relaxing. It is my therapy, my version of mindfulness, and my stress relief. I love finding new ways to use old things in my own yard.

I must admit I am very right-brained but I really felt like an engineer while putting this project together. You’ll be surprise at how I used found objects just lying around in the yard. The finished project is right off my front porch, so in the mornings when I’m having coffee; I’m also enjoying this 3-tiered planter.

If you want to see the before and after pictures; follow the link below for a detailed ‘how to’. I hope it inspires you to relax, practice mindfulness and have some fun in your own yard.

https://www.hometalk.com/37232030/yard-art-from-my-heart

Posted by: C J | July 5, 2018

Let your inner child find joy in…

Your Own Back-yard.

 

Paint -time

Emotional freedom includes the ability to enjoy your life and to bloom where you’re planted. I believe in letting our inner-child enjoy part of our day and just play.

These tractor seats are fun because you cannot sit still. Believe me, many people have tried to sit on these and not have fun; but it is damn near impossible.

 

 

 

 

 

Colored-up

If you have a question about these fun seats, want to join the conversation, or want to see more pictures of the project – come visit me at – https://www.hometalk.com/

Our community there makes it is easy to have fun and to share your creativity.

 

 

 

 

 

Come back soon for another cup of joy and comfort!

 

Posted by: C J | June 29, 2018

It is Summer and time for…

yep it’s time for humming birds, watermelon, and butterflies just for fun.

 

To more cute pictures of these neat creatures with sticky feet check out Hometalk.com.

 

https://www.hometalk.com/1089638/i-m-already-looking-foreword-to-summertime?cid=2859597#c-2859597

sweet treat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by: C J | May 8, 2018

Even in our brokenness we can…


help others; we don’t have to be perfect.

What the hell, was that? I jumped, shut my eyes, and ducked my head as I heard this loud CRACK.  I’m in my yard, surrounded by woodlands so I’m always hearing strange sounds. When I lifted my head and opened my eyes, I could see it was my rotten insect infested peach tree. The one branch that was still bearing fruit had split and fell to the ground. I looked at it and was just about to finish ripping off the piece of bark that was still barely hanging on to the trunk. But something stopped me and said, “Leave it alone.” I thought to myself, okay I’ll give it time to die by itself. Whelp, it’s been three weeks since that big cracking sound and that peach tree is still green and bearing fruit. (See Photos)

So, my goose bump ‘Aha’ moment was; wow, even in our brokenness God can use us, he can shine through us, and he can still express beauty through our brokenness. Standing there looking at this simple act of Nature brought tears and chills to my spirit. I also realized; just because something appears to be broken doesn’t mean I have to tear it down or finish ripping it apart.

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Rumi

I’ve come to understand that at times we have to be broken open, so we can make room for our spiritual growth. In this space of difficulty our soul learns and earns new growth. In this place, of pain something is being trained within us for a later time. If we go through it, we get a chance to let our soul shine.

And sometimes our soul’s mission is to bear witness to someone else’s cracks, darkness, and broken parts. Sometimes we just need to be with them without redirecting them, without protecting them, and without solving their problems, because God is working on them through their brokenness, so that they can grow and become who they are meant to be. Sometimes we rescue people right out of their Divine orders. What if, our biggest mess becomes our biggest message? The message that will help others.

“Embedded in our brokenness is God’s perfect plan for us…” Dr. CJ

Have you ever ventured beyond the noise; the noise of what others want from you, what others expect you to be, and what others want for you? Have you ventured beyond the noise into the stillness of your soul’s voice or the quiet voice of the Divine? Here’s the thing, your amazing light needs darkness to shine its brightness.

“The Light does not try to convince the darkness of its value, Nope- the Light just shows up and OUTSHINES the darkness” Dr. CJ

I cannot explain to you why and how this peach tree with all its brokenness is still producing fruit and still is so alive. But what if, within the unexplainable we find our attainable, brilliant, gorgeous, lovable, self?

 

Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by: C J | August 31, 2017

Forgiveness ain’t for the weak – it’s for the

Spiritual and strong person…

 

Break free with forgiveness

 

 

Forgiveness is about you and for you. It is NOT about the offender getting off the hook or condoning what the offender did or didn’t do. It is about releasing the charge an event, person, or situation has on you, that brings you pain each time you think about it or when something like a smell triggers a memory of the event.

The courage and willingness to forgive someone who has harmed you in some way, is one amazing act of self-care and self-love.  (If you do it often enough it becomes a practice or release tool). When you can accept that you may never get a deserved apology, that helps you let go of expectations for what’s not to be. And when you can acknowledge to yourself a regret of something you did or didn’t do and forgive yourself, it does give you space to breathe.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness is part of your emotional and spiritual muscles, you build every time you forgive someone (including forgiving yourself) and every time you ask someone for forgiveness; it builds your spiritual muscle and expands your spiritual growth. Hey, for me spiritual growth is enough of a reason to forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness but because, I deserve the peace and serenity of letting the charge they have over me out of my system.

Robin Casarjian author of the book, “Forgiveness A Bold Choice for a Peaceful Heart” says, “Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event.” I agree with Casarian and to help me with the practice of forgiveness, I was blessed to discover the Ho’oponopno prayer last year. It helps me ask for forgiveness and to offer forgiveness to others and myself.

“Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.”  Les Brown

Ho’oponopono prayer is a Hawaiian tradition; which gives us the opportunity to make right – right. It is a way of cleaning yourself of negative feelings, charges, and resentments. Please research this beautiful practice for yourself. I use Ho’oponopono Song by Aman Ryusuke Seto, on Youtube as a meditation.

Who do you need to ask forgiveness dead or alive? I believe the energy of forgiveness is carried even to the other side; just saying, “I’m sorry, please forgive me out loud or writing it down often will give you relief from “stuff” that has kept you stuck in a rut. I’ve come to understand that if you cling to anger, self-pity, or resentment, over time you become judgmental, hypercritical, and less compassionate. And who wants to be in that negative state?

Sometimes, people don’t apologize because they’re ashamed for what they did or didn’t do. Do your best to find a way to forgive them anyway. Sometimes when people know they did you wrong and don’t want to own it; they will try and dismiss or discredit you, forgive them anyway. Too often we have to learn how to be okay with that, “I’m sorry” you never will get. Remember Forgiveness unblocks your blessings. So just do it. You are worth it!

“When you forgive somebody, it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to invite them to your table.” Oprah

Namaste’

Come back again for another cup of comfort!

 

Posted by: C J | November 30, 2016

Even though it is 2016 it feels like…

 the 1950’s and 1960’s

Shine a light...

Shine a light…

 

This past month has been a doozy and has left me woozy, because some recent events have dug deeply and opened old wounds. Wounds that I thought were dead and buried.

Even though, for the past 40 some years I haven’t had to deal with or live with the blatant discrimination and segregation of my childhood. I shudder, when in Oklahoma City, my great-niece is being told to, “Pack your bags because with Trump as president he’s going to send you all back to Africa.” I cringe, I cry, and I scream; THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING AGAIN!

Hmmm, I remember my mom and I walking across town on our way to church. I’m loosely holding her hand and skipping to the beat of her feet. We’re singing and then what happened next quickly reminded us that we were Negroes, at the mercy of a white man in a big brown car. I can’t remember his words, but I do remember Mom’s grip on my hand tightening as she picked up a rock and told the guy; “You’d better leave us alone.” By now I’m too scared to skip or sing; I just want to run the seven blocks to the safety of the church.

Even though, this is 2016 – in Georgia and integration has been in full effect for over 50 some years,  I ache when my friend tells me, in Conyers, his step-son was getting on the school bus and a white guy in his 60’s yells at the kids getting on the bus, “Y’all know Trump won last night so y’all better watch out.” I cringe, I cry, and I scream; THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING AGAIN!

“Change is inevitable, progress is optional.” Tony Robbins

Even though many of the people voted for change and not racism – I wonder, is this slide back into segregation, this unwritten permission to bully at will, or this unfiltered hated the change you wanted, expected, or anticipated? Did you expect his name to become a tool of hate and threat?

Yes, I get that some change has been wanted and needed BUT when that change is openly celebrated by the kkk, the American nazi party, and other white supremacist groups; that believe Trump has given them permission to openly bully and hate, it’s enough to make me want to HOLLER.

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” Nelson Mandela

And when current cabinet choices are well known alt- right – white supremacists, who believe segregation is the correct path and the hate-gate should be held open wider, yes, I do scream as the salt hits that reopened wound because it fucking hurts. It hurts enough to make me cringe, cry, and scream – Your Agenda is Drenched in the Stench of Racism.

Somebody shine a light on my darkness.  Please prove me wrong. Please show me I’m overreacting. Please soothe my angst about the direction of my country – because I too sing America.

Come back soon…

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