Posted by: C J | March 12, 2019

What if, it isn’t even…

about you?









I now realize, that when someone hears you tell a truth that they are not ready to hear, cannot handle, or just plain in denial; they will blame you for their pain. You have dug up something they have been trying to repress and suppress and just don’t want to deal with.

“In order to be effective, truth must penetrate like an arrow – and that’s likely to hurt.” Wei Wu Wei

I also recognize the journey through their outrage and anger at you for telling what they wanted to keep hidden, isn’t even about you! It’s about their anger with themselves for believing and living a lie; that they don’t know how to reverse or reboot… 

“There is always a price for living a lie.” Dr. CJ 

I had a college professor who would go bat-shiiiiiiit crazy when he heard someone in class chewing or smacking gum. His teaching, would come to a halt as he scanned the classroom trying to figure out who was guilty. Of course, he couldn’t so he’d berate in general. For sure, that was NOT about chewing gum or the person chewing the gum. It simple was a nasty trigger for the professor. So, sometimes without knowing it, we are someone’s nasty little trigger. It’s not about you!

 “It is not about you,  it is their issues in their tissues.” Dr. CJ 

I’ve come to understand, if a person can’t handle the truth, it’s because they want to continue to believe and live that lie. And you can’t change that; so, don’t even try – it is a waste of time, space, and energy.

In the past few years I’ve witnessed a lot of anger, a lot of discord, and a lot of yelling and it’s all drenched in the stench of lies. I’m sure you have too unless you’ve been living in the Potala Palace in Tibet.

The worst thing about being lied to – is when you recognize – that the liar didn’t think you were worth the truth. (Sit with that for a minute.) Some people have lying in their DNA; it is as easy as inhaling and exhaling for them. Again, it is not about you.

“Being authentic means you have nothing to hide, prove, defend, or protect.” Lisa Nichols

In the past few years I’ve been vilified, shunned, and dismissed for speaking truth or even just acknowledging a truth I heard; and I love that. Because I know it is not about me.

Even though, it’s not about you – to keep your energy clean and vibrating at a high frequency where Divinity,  creativity, and serenity resides. Sincerely practice the Ho’oponopono prayer daily. 

Come back soon for another cup of comfort…


  1. It’s so funny but you hit a nerve with me.. I’ll share this moment when my sister used those words with me. When my son came to me that he was having a baby (not married) I was angry and upset and it wasn’t until my sister used the words (it’s not about you) that’s when it clicked..I needed to breathe let it go and enjoy the fact that i’m about to be a grandma.. now… ….in hindsight..I feel stupid…I love the baby immensely… she’s the joy of my life… it’s all about her 😊

    • Jamala thanks so much for sharing that beautiful story. It is amazingly freeing when we realize sometimes it is not about ‘me’….
      Hug your grand-baby for me. 😉

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