Doctor C J's Blog

Spiritual and strong person…

Break free with forgiveness

Forgiveness is about you and for you. It is NOT about the offender getting off the hook or condoning what the offender did or didn’t do. It is about releasing the charge an event, person, or situation has on you, that brings you pain each time you think about it or when something like a smell triggers a memory of the event.

The courage and willingness to forgive someone who has harmed you in some way, is one amazing act of self-care and self-love.  (If you do it often enough it becomes a practice or release tool). When you can accept that you may never get a deserved apology, that helps you let go of expectations for what’s not to be. And when you can acknowledge to yourself a regret of something you did or didn’t do and forgive yourself, it does give you space to breathe.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness is part of your emotional and spiritual muscles, you build every time you forgive someone (including forgiving yourself) and every time you ask someone for forgiveness; it builds your spiritual muscle and expands your spiritual growth. Hey, for me spiritual growth is enough of a reason to forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness but because, I deserve the peace and serenity of letting the charge they have over me out of my system.

Robin Casarjian author of the book, “Forgiveness A Bold Choice for a Peaceful Heart” says, “Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event.” I agree with Casarian and to help me with the practice of forgiveness, I was blessed to discover the Ho’oponopno prayer last year. It helps me ask for forgiveness and to offer forgiveness to others and myself.

“Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.”  Les Brown

Ho’oponopono prayer is a Hawaiian tradition; which gives us the opportunity to make right – right. It is a way of cleaning yourself of negative feelings, charges, and resentments. Please research this beautiful practice for yourself. I use Ho’oponopono Song by Aman Ryusuke Seto, on Youtube as a meditation.

Who do you need to ask forgiveness dead or alive? I believe the energy of forgiveness is carried even to the other side; just saying, “I’m sorry, please forgive me out loud or writing it down often will give you relief from “stuff” that has kept you stuck in a rut. I’ve come to understand that if you cling to anger, self-pity, or resentment, over time you become judgmental, hypercritical, and less compassionate. And who wants to be in that negative state?

Sometimes, people don’t apologize because they’re ashamed for what they did or didn’t do. Do your best to find a way to forgive them anyway. Sometimes when people know they did you wrong and don’t want to own it; they will try and dismiss or discredit you, forgive them anyway. Too often we have to learn how to be okay with that, “I’m sorry” you never will get. Remember Forgiveness unblocks your blessings. So just do it. You are worth it!

“When you forgive somebody, it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to invite them to your table.” Oprah

Namaste’

Come back again for another cup of comfort!