Posted by: C J | March 25, 2013

Listening with your heart is –

not the same as listening with your ears!

Listen with your heart

Listen with your heart

 To listen with the heart means you have the ability to listen deeply without the intention to : fix, save, or advise the  speaker. It means you just give her your undivided attention; this is a challenge for many. But it can lead to magical  or sacred moments between the people involved, whether it’s two people or a group of people.  This is not something  you can do while texting or over your favorite social media.

    To listen with your heart means: to listen without rehearsing what you want to say next – without waiting your turn to speak, without your defenses up – without your hero shield in place – without your judgements in place.

   Now don’t get it twisted when someone asks for your advice you can respond from the heart with your answer; don’t keep quiet. It also doesn’t mean you have to become the sounding board for everyone; you still keep up your boundaries. But I’m talking about when you are engaged in a rich or meaningful conversation with someone. Try to be there completely. Allow your compassion and empathy to open your heart’s ears.

“It is only with the HEART that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Your heart allows you to listen to the rhythm of people’s unclaimed, un-named, and unspoken needs, desires, and experiences.  How many times have you heard or read that we are spiritual beings having a human experience? It is so true and as spiritual beings we use more than our physical senses and body to experience others and the world. Part of the shift in 2012 was for many to recognize and re-member their spiritual senses, once and again. This recognition allows us to really connect and validate each other on a deeper level.

I’ve noticed that Namaste’ as a concept has become more main-stream, more socially accepted, and understood than it was 17 years ago when I discovered it. I’ve noticed a lot more people saying it out loud and participating in its meaning. For me Namaste’ means – the Divine in me recognizes and honors the Divine in you. It is a word that shows appreciation and gratitude for both yourSelf and the person you’re greeting. And it shows how much our energies intermingle without effort.

Each time you communicate with someone their energy impacts you and your energy impacts them. We get all intermingled or mangled depending on how we interact with each other. Yet another reason listening with the heart is so important.

Did you get that? Without effort we have an impact on others and vice versa!

“Your soul, your spirit, that invisible part of you, the part I can’t see has the greatest impact on me.” Dr. C J 

Everyone needs and wants validation, you want to: feel heard, feel understood, and feel that who you are matters! Validation is a gift we can give others because Karma really does exist.

According to Gary and Joy Lundberg authors of “I Don’t Have to Make Everything All Better”, there are Four Rules of Validation:

  1. Listen by giving your full attention
  2. Listen to the emotions being expressed
  3. Listen to the needs being expressed
  4. Understand by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes as best you can

For me those rules describe how to listen with your heart. Let me add; listen to understand and speak to be understood. If you can commit to these simple exchanges ~ awareness about life will show up differently for you.

Awareness is always the first step toward emotional freedom. Without awareness there is no growth. If you do not or cannot listen to the whispers of your own inner voice it will be difficult to listen with your heart.

 “Just like children, emotions heal when they are heard and validated.” 
Jill Bolte Taylor

Here’s one example of a sacred moment or listening with your heart:

 Saturday my husband and I were cleaning out the garage. Sounds exciting already right…   LOL – My husband has been a heavy equipment diesel mechanic since we got married 41 years ago. He decided to sell this HUMONGOUS three-foot tall – four foot wide tool box. I was helping him empty the tools out and clean it. Well, while he was going through the tools when he picked them up he had stories that fit the tool and some of the tools he had hand-crafted 38 years ago.

Now mind you this is the man after 41 years of marriage forgets I don’t like mashed potatoes or where we keep the meat loaf pan but he remembers his stories… LOL

Anyway as he was telling me his stories; I didn’t get half of what he was telling me because he was telling me how he used the tool or why he made the tool, but because I was listening with my heart, watching his body language, and facial expressions as his memories came flooding back to him; I was completely engaged– he had my undivided attention.

I mean how often do you see someone’s eyes sparkle when they talk about their work?  He was so animated as he sorted through his very own time capsule — I had to get my camera to capture the moment on film. I am a photographer at heart too.

By listening with my heart I was able to show him the gratitude I felt for his hands pulling wrenches all those years, giving us a great life. Judging by his reaction he felt loved and heard.  He even thanked me for listening and taking pictures of his tools. It may sound hokey but it was a magical moment for us that I savored and I’ll treasure.

We all need connections some days the Social Media, Face-time, and texting is not enough you need to see, touch, smell or be right in front of someone without technology to distract you. Don’t you feel most loved when you feel listened to? Don’t you feel loved when the person you are with gets “it” – whatever “it” is for the moment?

“Life is not made up of minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years, but of moments. You must experience each one before you can appreciate it.”   Sarah Ban Breathnach

Ask yourself these questions:

Leave your reply below someone might be listening with their heart to what you say…

  • Have I listened with my heart today?
  • Did anyone I talked with feel validated by my actions?
  • Did I allow Namaste’ show up in my life today?

 Come back soon for another cup of comfort!


  1. I just love it!!!

    Simply BE  and/or let it be  …. 


  2. Suzzie,

    Thank you!

    When we learn to let life be and just BE in it magical things can happen.

  3. To my wonderful wife of 41 yrs., thank you for sharing my thoughts and feelings. Emptying that tool box brought back a lot of enjoyable looks into my past when I was working on our future.
    Love You, Keith♥

    • 41 years later and you can still make me LOL and surprise me.

  4. thank you mama CJ for a wonderful and enlightening , beautiful story hope you guys are doing very well I am doing okay here talk to you later love you guys bye

    • You’re welcome Patrick, I’m speaking from my heart. Thank you for taking the time to read it and reply.

      I hope soon you will be doing GREAT!

  5. Sis , you and my bro are great examples of listening with your heart…Love it! You guys are so cute!

    • Thanks Ladina, we still have fun and enjoy each other.
      Of course, he will tell you on any given day that he is the cutest… LOL

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