Doctor C J's Blog

OMG who am I???

it is the fear of BEING You!

Last Sunday (2. 26. 12) I went to see GOOD DEEDS, Tyler Perry’s newest movie and I must admit it got me to thinking about my goals in life, my fear of life, and about where I am in life.

It was insightful to watch that this most powerful business man needed permission from someone he barely knew and was Grand Canyons away from him in social status, before he even thought about his goals in life and where he was in life. I don’t want to give too much of the movie away, BUT it is worth going to see especially if you are not living fully in your life.

Jill Scott’s – “Living life like its Golden” comes to mind:

I’m taking my own freedom Putting it in my song, Singing loud and strong, Grooving all day long, I’m taking my freedom, Putting it in my stroll, I’ll be high-steppin’ y’all, Letting the joy unfold

I’ve learned from experience that when we live our life chasing perfection and running from rejection because we are so afraid that we will disappoint others and their dream for us, happiness, joy, self-contentment, and self-efficacy eludes us. It seems nothing we do is good enough and who we are is not enough.

When we are working someone’s dream we often feel off-centered, scattered, and there is space for something more even if we are not sure of what that more is. And then there are those nagging questions: What am I missing? What am I doing? Why am I here?

To answer the above questions we often have to recognize that maybe we are not all the way inside our own body (mind & spirit). Some part/s might be hovering above and you look like a shell of yourSelf. That is when it is time to CYSB (call your spirit back) by having this intense – reflective – deep spirit to soul conversation about fear – of BEING who you really want to be, where you want to be, and why you are here.

So I am checking myself to see if I am living fully in my life, you can use my checklist or make your own. But it is time for us to fight for what is ours, to be content with who we are and to be content who we are NOT. Content is not a negative way to be in the world.

I am finding ways to be okay with my own entrained discomfort when I make others uncomfortable. I am committed to living close to Marianne Williamson’s words as possible.

“…Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. …. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I say “let your light shine not blind.” And if my light is too bright for you put on your sunglasses (just kidding).

This is my year to stop dodging rejection and let go again of the chase for perfection. These two emotions go hand in hand. I will discuss them deeper on another Blog. But for now I know if you fear rejection you most likely are chasing perfection, because how can anyone reject perfection.

               My checklist:

• Contentment – being comfortable with BEING me

• Gratitude – be thankful for who, where, and what I am

• Attitude – it is the one thing I am always in control of

• Aptitude – recognize that my attitude directs my aptitude

• Explore – keep an open mind to what the Universe presents

• Honor – all that I am because of my ancestors

• Enjoy – life is too short so go BIG or stay home

                                                       Come back soon for another cup of comfort!