Posted by: C J | August 16, 2010

If forgiveness is the key to life – why is it so…

If forgiveness is the key to life – why is it so difficult to do?

Many people think that if they forgive someone it is the same as giving the perpetrator absolution but in reality it is a way to cut the tie that binds you from the perp. Once you realize that forgiveness is for you not the perp it makes the possibility easier. A person does not have to know that you have forgiven them for a transgression and just because you forgive a person does not mean that person becomes a part of your daily life.

One thing is for sure, if you don’t forgive that person, he/she is with you influencing your life everyday… by proxy. In order for us to be forgiven for our mistakes and missteps we have to be willing to forgive the same thing in others.

 I am trying to let my mistakes stop being what dictates my daily life. As a friend once said, “I hope I have crop failure because I have sown some terrible seeds.”

Who do you need to forgive today? Do you need to let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself? It has been my experience as a psychotherapist forgiving Self is most difficult, but it can be done.


  1. I totally agree that forgiveness is for you. We are only punishing ourselves if we don’t. Because the one who wounded us is living a carefree happy life and we’re the one still bound to them, because we choose to hang on to the wound/pain, rather than release them and you. Releasing them frees you to receive the needed healing and forward motion needed to grow on with your life.
    Thanks for addressing these issues. For those on the growing journey it is essential and key for forward motion and perpetual growth.
    We must grow on and let them go on in peace. YES!! oops, that was a little much

  2. So why is it so hard to forgive oneself? Is it low self esteem, perfectionism, or what?
    We do deserve to be set free and released. So I’m making the choice to forgive myself for all mistakes, wounds I’ve caused, and wounds received and releasing those who I’ve wounded and have wounded me! Wow that breath went deep…

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